Deciding to be a vegan was not a huge step for me personally, since I´ve been a vegetarian since I was 11 years old. What I didn´t take into consideration was how much it limited me.
The last 3 months I´ve been on a sick leave because my mind just couldn´t function anymore. I was feeling all the negative feelings, and none of the good ones. I was criticizing every single thing I did or didn´t do, and I was not able to see the things I´m good at. Or the things I did that was kind of awesome. (And no, it was not because of vitamin or protein deficiency…)
I´ve been doing a lot of soul searching the last month, and it´s clear to me that I´m my biggest problem. I keep setting up boundaries for myself and making up lots of rules that does not apply to any other than myself. Strict rules. Bordering on OCD. Going vegan made me uncertain every time I was going out of the house. Will there be anything I can eat? Will people think I´m weird, stupid, annoying or whatever? Which made me shut myself off from people around me. And restricting my yarn purchases made me loose interest in knitting and crafting. I could follow every rule I set for my self, but I didn´t feel happier. I felt kind of awful. I had shut myself of from a community that I loved.
In case you are wondering. All these thoughts are mine and only mine. I´m surrounded by understanding people. I´m not pressured into anything. I´m not changing my ways because people are mean. I´m changing direction because it´s what needs to be done.
So I´m going to change paths. From now on I´m a vegetarian. And I will buy “normal” yarn, but I will try to choose yarn that has the environment in mind. I´m still super interested in people who keep sheep or other animals only for yarn reasons, and I´d still love to keep an eye out for them, but it will no longer be my only option. Having one year experience with vegan food has taught me a lot of good things about cooking food. And if I ever come across anyone who is vegan or has food allergies, I have lots of good ideas as to what I could serve them.
But to keep this short and not rant; these are just a few things I´ve come to realize about the way I´ve lived my life so far, but these are the things that are relevant for this craft blog. Animal welfare is still important to me, but for now, I´m putting myself first.
Whenever I´m feeling like I should do more, I try to remind my self of the words: “One cannot do everything, but everyone can do something.”
And that´s what I´m doing.
And It´ll have to be enough.